Thursday, July 14, 2011

When it is about the heart, it is all about relationships

Let us start our tale with little Ms. P who has a relationship with the broad shouldered Mr. QRS. In a normal stable relationship (NSR), Ms. P is always accompanied by Mr. QRS. They plan to go to weekly dance classes with some other partnered friends, but it's difficult with the sometimes early and other times late Sinus Arrhythmia. The Sinus Exit Block couple are always punctual when they make it, but sometimes skip a dance class or two with no warning, only to be there punctually next time. The hardest folks to do any planning with is the Sinus Arrest couple, they not only miss classes they never get the time right on the next one, arriving early or late.

Relationships can be challenging, like when Ms. P's ex-boyfriend Pac (Premature Atrial Contraction) drops in. He wants to hang out with P and reminisce about old times, messing up the lovebirds orderly schedule. The same thing happens when one of Mr. QRS' old frat brothers from the PVC (Premature Ventricular Contraction) house crashes their place for the weekend.

However relationships can also have more serious discord or blocks between them:

  • A first degree block places some distance between the two lovers, but still they remain together.

  • A second degree type I block is demonstrated by P and QRS Wenkebach who grow steadily further apart until QRS cheats and P dumps the bum, but she forgives him and takes him back only for the cycle to repeat.

  • The more dastardly second degree type II occurs in the relationship between P and QRS Mobitz II, where despite the illusion of a stable relationship, QRS gets drunk, cheats, and they break up. P is still a forgiving lady and takes him back, but the scalawag QRS will do it again.

  • Divorce, or the third degree block, has complete disassociation between P and QRS

The thin and rhythmless rapper A fib has so many ladies (his P's) that he is only erratically spotted. He is not to be confused with the equally anorexic hip hop artist A flutter who usually dates only twins and triplets. Neither one of these artists jams should be confused with the sudden vibrant beat of the techno SVT, he brings a rapid rhythm that looks almost sinus. Rumor has he too has an eating disorder. Everyone knows a player like their friend Mat (Multifocal Atrial Tachycardia), he's got a different P every week.

Not so for the amphetamine and steroid abusing loner V Tach, no Ps for him in his destructive quest. He used to be a founding member of the all male deathmetal band V Fib, but they were too chaotic even for him.